My 2020 goals

Happy New Year everyone! I hope you enjoyed the holidays and have had a happy start to 2020. I’m actually sick currently, my whole family is. Right after Christmas, my mom caught a cold and I’m now on day 8? I think? Of being sick. It’s been a pretty brutal start to the year. We had fun plans that all got canceled and I’m still a little sad about it. But today is the first day I’ve felt up to writing, so I’ll take it.

I wholeheartedly look forward to setting my goals for the new year. I don’t know if I’d go as far as to call them resolutions because they’re always so low pressure. The whole ‘new year new me’ is definitely not my vibe. Resolutions feel like they’re these huge, concrete tasks you HAVE to do or you’ll have failed. Massive life changes with deadlines. 

I’m more about small goals that I actually have a chance of accomplishing. I get excited about going into the new year and the idea of a fresh start. And I like the thought of giving myself some sort of direction for where I’d like to go. Plus it’s fun to look back and get to say ‘Hey, I actually did that!’. 

Part of why I love setting goals for the new year is because I never actually feel like I’m doing enough. I’m nearing closer and closer to 30 and it’s not like I have a career – I still just work part time. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, because there’s not. And I love my job! But I always worry that I’m wasting too much time. That I’m stuck in the same place year after year after year. Basically, having things to work towards, even if they’re small projects just for me, makes me feel less like a loser. (I’m kidding. Kind of.)

Anyway, sometimes I’m super successful with my goals, other times they just kind of go nowhere. Sometimes halfway through the year I decide none of the goals really fit anymore and switch them up. Which is fine! We’re not going to beat ourselves up for doing our best in 2020!!

So in 2019, I said I wanted to:
  1. Waste less time
  2. Take more pictures
  3. Work on my mental health
  4. Find new fun things to do locally
  5. Write more

Out of all of those, I really only feel like I was successful with 1 and 5. I think I started the year out strong with a lot of determination, but things got rough around summer and kind of stayed rough the whole way through. I accomplished other things though and I did what I could. That’s enough. 

My word for 2019 was optimism, which I feel like I both failed and succeeded at. Long story short – I’m great at being optimistic for anyone but myself, apparently. But still, it was a nice reminder to give myself all year. 

For this year, though, I’m taking a much different approach. 

My word for 2020 is acceptance.

Acceptance for me, my life and circumstances surrounding my life, for others, just in general. I dwell on things, overthink everything, worry, and second guess my entire life. Especially when I’m feeling depressed or anxious, which was most of 2019. I turn 28 in a couple weeks and it kind of freaks me out how much time I’ve spent comparing my life to others and making myself feel horrible when I inevitably decide I don’t measure up. Here’s hoping that this year I can focus more on accepting who I am and where I’m at so I can just enjoy it.

I’ve been toying around with my ideas for 2020 for a couple weeks now, and here’s what I’ve come up with so far:

1. Reread and write second draft of my NaNo project

Hitting that 50k word count was incredible, but one draft isn’t good enough. I’m attached to the story and the characters now, so I want to get it to a level I’m proud of and happy with. Writing for NaNoWriMo is some of the most fun I’ve had writing in years, so I’m excited to get back into that project again.

2. Finish my 2019 sketchbook and start a new one

I miss drawing and painting, and I love filling sketchbooks. It’s a little ridiculous, since I do absolutely nothing with them when I finish, but it’s such a good feeling when I do. I’ve tried a few years in a row to fill one, though and haven’t been successful. My current one is about halfway filled, so it shouldn’t be too hard for me to finish it this year.

3. Update my blog and make all the changes I’ve been sitting on for 8+ months

Now that my blog is a couple years old and I have a better understanding of how it all works, there’s a lot of things I want to organize and change. There’s a few creative changes I want to make as well. Hopefully I can get it somewhere I’m happier with which will encourage me to write more and share it more often! 

4. Be more active in the disability community

I often wish I had more disabled friends, so being more active in the community would let me meet more disabled people. Since I work from home, I don’t get a lot of chances to go out and meet new people. 

5. Take more pictures

I’m repeating this one because I don’t feel like I was all that successful last year. Scrolling through my camera roll a few weeks ago I realized I always take tons of photos of everyone and then never have any of me. One day I’m going to kick myself for not taking more pictures on happy days. I used to be so into photography and I miss it all the time, too.

6. Read 24 books

When I’m depressed and anxious, my hobbies tend to suffer. Reading is always one of the first to go. I tried to read 12 books last year, but didn’t start until October and didn’t quite get there. But I did get my library card last fall, so it’ll hopefully make it much easier to hit my reading goal in 2020.

I know it’s been a rocky start to 2020 for a lot of us, so I hope yours is going well!

What are your goals for 2020?

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