Lockdown life update
Hi friends! How’s lockdown treating ya?
First off, I just want to say that I know that everything is awful and scary and generally terrible right now, so I’m proud of you for getting through it. I’m happy you’re still here and super grateful that you’re spending even a few minutes of your day reading anything I have to say.
It’s weird looking back at the year. It feels like we should still be in March but also like it’s the longest year in history. That we’ve all been trapped in the same day we’re forced to relive over and over again but still so much has happened.
Back in January/February, I had so many plans that I was excited for. The ADA turned 30 this year and I had almost a month’s worth of content planned, none of which I ended up being able to do. When I stopped leaving my apartment, I stopped caring what I wore or how I looked, which means I stopped taking pictures. Not just of myself though, of anything. Every morning the news is horrifying and it’s just drained me of every ounce of creativity. I’m trying to get that back still, little by little. It’s still a struggle for sure, but I’m trying.
But it has been a long time, so let’s catch up real quick.
I can’t talk about how sucky everything is right now without first acknowledging how lucky I am. I already worked from home pre-covid, so I never had to worry about getting exposed at my job. And luckily, while work did slow down for a while, my income was not affected for the most part. I’ve got a place to live and can stay home and isolate as long as I need to. So, that’s a huge privilege on my end and I’m so grateful.
Speaking of which, I haven’t left my apartment since March 10th. I haven’t even really gone outside. Except to help my mom take the trash out – at night, while wearing masks, because my neighbors are always outside and I never see them wearing masks. Grateful I have a home to stay in, but very much so tired of being home. Obviously I’m sad but I’m more than willing to stay home in order to protect myself, my family, and others. Plus, I’ve done the homebound thing before. I’m sure this won’t be the last time I do it either.
My family has had our own set of struggles during lockdown.
A while back, my brother had to spend a week in the hospital and have surgery. My mom spent 12+ hours a day with him, meaning I was left at home with no caregiver. My two best friends basically moved in with me for the week to take care of me every day. I’m unendingly grateful because I have no idea what we would have done without them. They’re amazing and I love them so much. And the circumstances sucked, no doubt, but it was also nice to be able to spend time with friends. All three of us knew it was going to be a long time before we saw each other again, so we tried to make the best of a crummy situation.
My brother’s surgery went well, despite his various complications that make surgery a big risk for him, and he’s home now and fully recovered. But it was definitely not fun to have a loved one have to break isolation in the middle of a pandemic.
Unfortunately, my mom is now forced once again to break isolation because someone hit our parked van while backing out of the parking lot. The damage is ‘minimal’ I guess, but they broke the tail light and it’s going to be an expensive fix nonetheless. The worst part of it is the fact that my mom has to expose herself to so many different people now.
Anyway, life is pretty boring right now.
I get up, I work, and then I just kind of sit around playing video games or facetime with a friend to pass the time. Some people have been super productive during lockdown, but yeah… I’m not one of them. Which I think is fine, by the way. The idea that we all have to be the best most productive versions of ourselves in the middle of a pandemic and political nightmare is ridiculous. If that helps you – great! But there’s also no shame in just getting through the days without feeling like you’re accomplishing anything.
I’d be interested to hear what’s been helping all of you get through 2020, though!
For me, it’s been a lot of video games, like I mentioned earlier. Animal Crossing really came out at the best possible time, right? My friends and I have thrown parties and games on each other’s islands to feel like we can actually be with each other, and it’s been such a huge comfort.
I’ve also recently fallen in love with a game called Spiritfarer. It’s absolutely beautiful and I can’t speak highly enough about it. I haven’t finished it yet but I’ve loved every minute of it. You play as the person in charge of ferrying spirits to the afterlife, helping them fulfill their final wishes until they’re ready to pass on. It sounds grim, but it’s a really chill management game. The art and music is beautiful, and it just feels wholesome. Super recommend.
I’ve been trying to get back into more creative habits.
Writing, drawing, painting – I miss all of it. Digital art has always been something I’ve wanted to get better at, so I’ve recently started playing around with Procreate on my ipad again. I’ve also started journaling again, and I’m determined to finish my 2 year old sketchbook by the end of 2020.
And of course, I couldn’t let myself let this blog die. It’s my own little slice of the internet, something I have put so many hours into. Do I have any idea what direction it’s going to take over the next few months? Not really. But life is weird right now, and I’m just going to write what I want to write because I don’t think my brain can handle stressing out about one more thing.
So, I’ll be around. I’m hoping to ease back into this thing with one post a week. I hope you’ll be here to see what I come up with. If you are, thank you! Seriously. It still blows my mind when I log in and see that anyone has been on my page. Y’all are too cool.