7 times my mom was better than you
Today is a special day because it’s my mom’s birthday! Are we all ready for me to gush about her for a minute? Okay good let’s go.
My mom is the kind of person who will make your favorite meal and fill the bathroom with your favorite shampoo when you come to visit. And she’ll greet you with presents, just because. And basically do whatever she can to make sure you leave feeling loved and special.
Even if she doesn’t like you. It’s wild.
Everyone constantly praises her for taking care of me and my brother, and yeah that’s great. I’m glad she didn’t throw me in a nursing home. Thanks mom. But I personally find those moments a little gaggy. Seriously why do strangers stop her to thank her as if she’s like a public servant?
Regardless of all the cringe, everyone is correct. She is, in fact, better than all other mom’s. Here’s some proof:
All the times she let me drag her to numerous, disgusting, bars for very mediocre shows
Oh God, there have just been so many bad shows. Like, truly awful bands. For a while, every single tour had like 37 openers for them so the show would end up being like 5 hours of music you never wanted to listen to and then 1 hour of the band you paid to see. My poor mother. Plus, I then had to wait 3 more hours to meet the bands. It was a rough couple years for her when I was going to shows every few weeks, but she kept taking me.
When she agreed to be a Disney passholder even when she didn’t really want to
We love Disney, but it’s a long drive in always awful traffic. Parking sucks. It’s always too hot. And let’s be real, we all wish we could enjoy the fun and magic of Disney World without monetarily supporting the greedy corporation behind it. But it’s one of the only big things my family gets to do throughout the year and she knew how much I wanted to do it. So she signed up, and she drives that horrific drive, and we have our Disney days whenever we can.
The sheer number of times she had to wash all my bed sheets because my kitten liked to punish me
We’re pretty sure my cat Penelope was feral before we adopted her. Not that we were told this, though. She was scared around people and pretty much everything. I had multiple new scratches every day. But probably the hardest thing to get past was that for the better part of our first year with her, she would pee on me. While I was sleeping in my bed.
She grew out of it, we got her to chill out. She’s great now, an absolute queen. But man, my mom had to clean up a lot of pee.
All the days she cooked dinner for my friends over the last decade
My mom cooks for everyone. Like, full meals. Buys the groceries and feeds anyone who comes over without ever mentioning it or acting like it’s a big deal. My friends, neighbors, anyone. If you’re nearby and hungry, my mom will probably try to feed you.
That year in middle school when she let me “go home sick” like, once a week
Middle school sucked ass. I hated every minute. I was mildly bullied, lonely every day, and in the height of my emo kid days. I would get “sick” at least once a week, almost always conveniently before my biology class that filled me with dread.
Everyone knew I was lying. My aide. My teacher. The women in the front office. And definitely my mom. But she still picked me up and took me home. I mean, she nagged me about it. A lot. She still calls me out on it regularly today. But she still took me home, which I’m grateful for. Just for added context, my grades never suffered and that school really sucked for disabled kids. Like wowie it sucked. Any time away from it was a kindness. Thanks, mom.
Every time she drove me to hang out with my friends and waiting for hours because it was too far to drive back home in between
Times like last week, when I went to a concert with my friend in downtown Disney. Or like tomorrow, when I’m going to another concert at Universal. A lot of times when I make plans, she’s directly inconvenienced since she has to get me ready and drive me, and it also leaves her kind of stranded. She’s cool enough to do it, anyway.
When she stayed with me in the hospital
There was a time in my life, for like a solid year at least, that I spent a week in the hospital every month. And when I was a teenager, I had a major surgery that left me in the hospital for a week. Plus a handful of other random times I got sick. And we could also count the time my brother spent a month in the hospital after his surgery. She never left us alone. She slept on cots and stared at the wall with me and kept me company and defended me when doctors or nurses sucked. Some kids get left by themselves but I was never one of them.