I am literally always tired
I can’t even think about the fact that 2018 is next week. That just feels wrong and scary and way too futuristic. Remember when we were kids and we thought by 2020 we’d have flying cars and everything would be spacey and chrome? I’m having a quarter life crisis as we speak??? Yikes.
In happier news, still not done celebrating Christmas! Hope you’re excited to see more festive photos sprinkled throughout this post because I’m still feelin’ it.
So anyway, because I’m only a part-timer, I don’t get a big holiday break (rip) and while I don’t really mind, I’ve been exhausted this week. Like, catching myself mid head-bob-falling-asleep-sitting-up exhausted. The sad thing is that this isn’t even all that out of the norm for me because tired is my default. It’s probably one of my 3 main traits, along with moody and obsessive. I’m a catch, why am I single again?
Seriously, I’m honestly just always tired. It’s a really cool combination of a less than balanced diet, never getting a full night of uninterrupted sleep, and having muscular dystrophy.
When my body is tired, it feels like my arms are 100 pounds and keeping my balance is next to impossible. My muscles can get super crampy, which SUCKS. I imagine it’s probably kind of similar to what someone feels like after a really intense workout. The bummer is that for me, this can happen after like 5 minutes of any mildly difficult (difficult for me/someone disabled) activity or just at random times for basically no reason.
I guess the best example of this is that it took me 15 minutes to get two pairs of shoes out of the packaging they shipped in so I could wrap them, and it completely wiped me out.
Other times, aka all the time, I’m just sleepy. Sometimes I catch myself after 15 minutes of just staring off into space because I’m just in a daze. Most of the time, I’m used to it and can get past it to do whatever it is I need to get done, but there are definitely times where it makes everything a struggle.
When all you want to do is curl back up and sleep, it’s pretty hard to find the motivation to do much else. Or, it is for me at least.
In school, I used to think it was just that I hated being in school. I hated the classroom setup, I hated the assignments, and I hated spending so much of my time being bored. Now I realize that, nope! I’m just freaking tired.
I went so long where this didn’t really matter because I was just home doing nothing anyway, but now I feel like I need to figure something out. I’m always low key paranoid that maybe I’m not doing well at work because my head is in a fog. To be fair, I don’t usually feel like I need to fight not to fall asleep at my desk, but I do always show up feeling like I’d rather be sleeping.
It’s not that I don’t want to be there because I want the job and I definitely want the money so I’ve got the motivation. I just…. hate being productive when my eyes don’t want to stay open and everything feels so heavy.
Coffee doesn’t really give me any noticeable boost in energy. Besides, I try not to drink much of anything before work anyway. Gotta love not being able to pee for your entire shift, am I right?! I’ve also started going to bed pretty early. Anywhere between 8:30-9:30, and I get up at 7. That should be plenty of hours, right? Apparently not for my body. What a baby.
So that’s where I’m at currently, friends. I’m a grumpy old woman and look at that, we’re right back to the quarter-life crisis!
If you’re in a similar situation, I’d be super interested to know how you handle it. Whether that be any sort of lifestyle changes or just how you cope with it – let me know! I wish this was a helpful post or I had any advice, but to be honest guys, I’ve got nothing.