How I’m focusing on my mental health in 2019
I’ve been what you could call “going through it” for the past year (lol or 27). Most days I feel like I’m a mess of a human being. If you follow me on Twitter and see my sad tweets, I wouldn’t blame you if you thought so, too. I made it a priority to focus on my mental health in 2019, and here’s a few ways I’m doing that!
Paying attention to negative thought patterns
It’s almost scary just how easy it is for me to slip into negative thought patterns. If I make a mistake at work, I’ll barrel straight into an hour long internal monologue of what a failure I am. If I get any idea I’m really excited about, I’ll talk myself out of it within minutes because I’m so sure I’ll never be able to do it justice. When I open Instagram and see my friends doing fun things without me, I feel sad and lonely for hours and convince myself that they hate me and were relieved to be away from me.
And not only is all of that gross, it’s pointless. I’m only hurting myself and I’ve got no proof to back up any of these nagging thoughts. While I’m not super great at actually combating these patterns yet, I’ve been trying my best to at least call myself out when I start falling into them. Baby steps?
Writing stuff down
Like I mentioned earlier, I sad tweet. I mean, most people do. While Instagram is full of happiness and colors, Twitter is where everyone unleashes their inner goblin. I hate that habit of mine and it’s proved to be nearly impossible for me to break over the years. It helps momentarily, but never for long.
One thing that does seem to help more long term though, is writing down all the crap floating in my brain. Sad tweets are usually short and vague. It’s me wanting to lash out but always feeling like I need to reign it in somewhat. But grabbing a pen and just scribbling out the first thing that comes to mind works so much better. It lets me get everything out without worrying who will read it or how ridiculous I am for overreacting or being borderline incoherent. It’s like screaming into the void, except much quieter and less embarrassing an hour later.
It’s not something I do all the time, but it’s something I fall back on when I’m having a particularly shitty day. Plus, it’s an excuse to buy more pretty journals. Which is a definite win.
If I’m struggling with something, I need advice. I’m not one of those people who has to figure things out on their own. That just never worked for me. I want as much information as I can possibly get and I want a ton of opinions to help me get through my indecisiveness. Asking my friends what they think of a situation or if they’ve ever dealt with something similar is one of the few things that can cut through my anxiety.
I wish I was spontaneous, but I didn’t grow up in that kind of family. Life is much easier with a disability when you take the time to figure out what you’re doing. Or, at least it is for us. I’ve always been the kind of person who wants to know what the plan is for the day. What time we’re going out and where. Having everything pre-arranged so I know what to expect. But this year I’m trying to plan out a little further. Instead of just making plans for a day out or for things I need to work on during the week, I’m trying to think more big picture.
What am I doing and why? What kind of job do I
Putting less pressure on myself
You might have noticed that my posting schedule (which was never all that reliable) has become pretty