5 Interabled couples that will make you swoon! #100outof100

Dr. Phil said “100 out of 100 relationships that involve caregiving fail.” Here are 5 couples proving him wrong.

Recently, Dr. Phil (ugh, I know, just stay with me) aired an episode featuring an interabled couple. The man was disabled and his girlfriend was responsible for his day to day care. In this episode, he told the struggling couple that the reason for all of their problems is that their relationship involved caregiving. Not only that, but as he talked to this couple who came to him looking for help and for hope, he told his girlfriend that she had to choose between being his lover or his caregiver because “100 out of 100 relationships that involve caregiving fail.”

Y I K E S.

But enough about Dr. Phil. After the episode aired, the disabled community didn’t hesitate to call him out on how ableist and wildly incorrect his statements are. Pretty soon, my Instagram feed was filled with #100outof100 and wowie. My heart has officially been melted. So, I thought I’d share some gems from the tag because we all could use some more love on our timeline!

Mattie and Bethany Rose

Starting out so strong with these two babes who actually started the tag! Going on five years of marriage and doing great. This is the content I’m here for. I’ve shared Mattie’s post, but you should definitely follow them both!

Shane and Hannah

I’ve mentioned Shane before because I’ve actually been a huge fan of his writing for a long time. Going back to the Tumblr days *cringe*. Hannah and Shane’s relationship is so cute it’s absurd, and they’ve got an incredible Youtube channel where they raise awareness for interabled couples and disability. They have a vlog talking about the Dr. Phil episode in detail if you’re interested in learning more! Also, they turned him down which is oh so satisfying.

Rebekah and Micah

I’ve followed Rebekah for a while now because her feed is always great. But look at these cuties. I mean, come on. If those photos don’t leave you cheesin’ then you’re probably dead inside.

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“100 out of 100 relationships that involve caregiving fail.”—@drphil . Micah and I have been together for almost 5 years. Last night, after doing our ever growing stretching routine, as we were falling asleep, Micah said, “I like doing stretches with you. I get to hold you, and I can feel it helping your body. I wonder how many couples get to feel that together?” I knew just what he meant. There’s a vulnerability, a tenderness, a particular brand of humor, a tangible expression of care captured in that routine. I felt the other side of care when Micah broke his femur a year ago. I remember feeling so grateful for a way to express my love — by playing with his hair, reminding him to take his meds, helping him make his way to the toilet. These are extreme versions of what we do for each other everyday — leaning, holding, giving, receiving, caring. Some of it involves paralyzed legs, some of it includes untangling messy feelings, much of it requires creating space for each other. . This week, Dr Phil gave absurd, ill-informed, grossly oversimplified advice to a woman who was a caretaker for her boyfriend. I don’t really pay attention to Dr Phil on the regular, so I don’t know if this is his typical style? But I’m invested when I see a man with an enormous platform perpetuating an already prevalent, tangibly damaging story about disability and romance. Being in a relationship — of any sort — is hard. And while each one will be unique, while disability adds and takes away in its own ways — EVERY SINGLE LASTING RELATIONSHIP INVOLVES CARETAKING. I would like the whole world — including Dr Phil — to please stop assuming that being disabled is some kind of alien experience planets away from the rest of humanity. You need some version of care, I need another, and we’re all here just trying our best to sort it out and find connection and love the best we can, forever and amen. . I’ve added a link to a Squirmy and Grubs video (the deightful @shaneburcaw and @hannahayl) that does a beautiful job of breaking down the episode. Also, shoutout to @mattieplummer and @bethanyroseplummer who started the #100outof100 hashtag!! Go read all the stories!

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Cole and Charisma

I found these babes while scrolling through the tag and instantly had to follow. Doesn’t their photo look like a movie poster? I’d watch that romcom in a second. Turns out they’ve got the next best thing – a Youtube channel documenting their lives together! Go check it out and fall in love with them just like I have.

Julia and Kevin

What I loved most about Julia’s post, aside from that gorgeous photo, was the story she shared. Caregiving and disability isn’t always fun or romantic or even all that comfortable. But it’s reality. And as a disabled woman I know it can be easy to fall into a negative thought pattern and follow that until you feel ashamed.

I think a lot of abled people assume that needing help, especially with things like going to the bathroom, must be the worst thing in the world and they’d never be able to handle it. But Julia’s post shows that you know what? It might be a little embarrassing sometimes, but it’s also just a part of a loving relationship. A normal, happy, healthy relationship.

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#100outof100 .. . I’m going to go ahead and jump in on this. So, @drphil went ahead and decided to make the statement that “100 out of 100 relationships that involve caregiving fail.” I’m not sure where he’s getting his stats from because I know so many people, including Kevin and myself, who are making their relationships work, even if there is caregiving involved.. . That’s not to say it’s easy, but what relationship is easy? Here’s a story for you. Early on in Kevin and I’s relationship, like really early, I was in a meeting at work, and my catheter cap came off. I peed all over myself. I rushed to the bathroom and tried to arrange for caregivers to help me with my situation but it was too short notice and I couldn’t get anyone. In tears, I call Kevin at work and tell him my situation. He tells me he’ll leave early and meet me at my place. Mortified, he starts undress me and gets me in my shower chair. As soon as I got in that chair, my period started and bled all over the carpet. Yup, I cried. And then he shed some tears from me and gently got me cleaned up and proceeded to scrub the blood out of my carpet… I was sure that’d be the last I’d see of him. Here we are, though, a month away from getting married.. . What Phil is missing here is that these relationships are happening by choice and they require love, communication, and patience like any kind of relationship. Gosh, there’s so much I could say here, but I’ll leave it at that.. . Anyways, is @drphil ‘s opinion even relevant anymore? Please, use your platform to spread actual facts and not dehumanize and misrepresent a whole population of people. #hatersgonnahate . . #periodshappen #gotanewcarpet #notevenmad #silverlining . . 📸 : @iamfivefeettwo

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I love this tag for a bunch of reasons. Mostly because I live for proving crusty old white men wrong. But also because ya girl is single as heck and it gives me hope for my future. Even though I know in my heart that being disabled doesn’t make me incapable of being loved, it’s still nice to be reminded from time to time. Internalized ableism is something I’ve had to continually unlearn, and dating has been a bit of a sore spot for me over the years. Seeing all the couples sharing their #100outof100 stories gives me tangible proof that all the things I’ve been known to tell myself are completely false.

Plus, they’re all just so damn cute.



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